Coping With Disappointment In Life

“My plan didn’t go well.”
“I wish things were different.”
“I’m working hard for it, but I don’t get it.”

Okay, let’s talk about disappointment.  Which is a very uncomfortable emotion for us to feel.  When we get disappointed, it can hurt. Sometimes a bit. Sometimes a lot. And that’s okay.

The emotion is not the problem. The way we handle is. 

Living with disappointment can be terrible especially when we don’t know how to deal with it. And it’s even worse when people continue to say, “Be patient. It’s going to be all right in the end.”

I don’t know about you but in my case, I feel that is an overrated and copy-paste statement without understanding what is the real cause and situation. 

A friend of mine asked this question and I come to a realisation that for almost half of my life I feel disappointed, like a lot. Now, I’m 28. So, probably around 10 to 12 years. Woah, that’s such a long time, right?

However, in the last 2 years, I noticed that I feel less disappointed and satisfied with my life journey. I am grateful for whatever I’m going through right now even it feels unpleasant and shitty sometimes. 

So, today I’m going to share how you can cope and deal with disappointment in your life.

2 Types Of Disappointment

The thing is a lot of people don’t confront and avoid to face disappointment. 

Causing them to suppress it and it can lead to the increasing of negative emotions. Like dissatisfaction, despair, feeling hopeless, self-blaming and regret. 

Any attempt to escape the negative, to avoid it or silence it, only backfires. The avoidance of feeling bad is a form of suffering.

I mean, we haven’t been taught about this thing since we were kids, right? That’s why most of us find it difficult to handle our emotions. 

Basically, there two types of disappointment which are an outcome-related disappointment and person-related disappointment. 

Outcome-related disappointment is more about when things didn’t go as you would hope. While person-related disappointment is when a person you love and trust let you down. 

Thus, How Can You Overcome Disappointment?

#1 – Accept Your Feeling

Don’t try to push it away. Don’t try to hide it under a big smile and fake your happiness. But rather say this to yourself, “Hey, I know and I understand that I feel disappointed. I feel this way because of (mention your reason).”

If you need to cry, then just cry. Let it out. Practice honouring disappointment. The key here is don’t ignore it. Just be honest and accept whatever feeling that you feel. 

Frustrated?
Anger?
Sad?
Guilty? 
Shame? 

That’s okay. Accept all of them. 

#2 – Manage Your Expectations

Disappointment usually comes from high expectations that attach to the result matters in achieving certain goals. Especially when you are in desperate mode. 

Don’t get me wrong. Of course, you can have an ambitious goal. However, when you manage your expectations and then, you are trying hard enough and you don’t get the result that you want, you don’t blame yourself. 

I’m not trying to say by lower your expectations, you don’t feel disappointment at all, but at least you might feel less disappointed. Less hurt. 

Life is not perfect. Sometimes you fail and lose. Sometimes you win and rise.

#3 – Let God

After whatever you have done with, just know you already do the best you can. You should enjoy the progress you make. As the result, let God decide. Surrender. Because He knows the best for you. 

Your effort is never wasted although you don’t get the outcome that you wish for. 

“Wanting a positive experience is a negative experience, accepting a negative experience is a positive experience.”
- Mark Manson, The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F***

In A Nutshell

Disappointment – don’t deny it, let it through thou. It is a part of life and I bet all of us still can be disappointed in the future. However, coping with it can help you grow. 

I wish may you have joy and satisfaction in your life.
Ameen!
All the best, y’ll. 

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