“Your Mess Up Is Your Message.”
I didn’t know why but I felt mind-blowing when my mentor said that to me. “Your mess up is your message.” Kinda it clicks. Because to be honest, I mess up most of the time.
“When you show your mess up to people, a lot of people can relate and connect with you. All of us are going through the same thing. Just that, not so many people can become vulnerable to strangers.”
And I start to think, if I can do that, maybe it can be my strength.
So, here I am. Share my mess up with strangers. I’m doing this because I believe my writing can be a pill or antidote to someone out there who also struggles to live their day.
The Story Of My Life
Okay, I wake up late today. Around 12pm. And I sleep late yesterday. So, I start my weekend behind the schedule by tidying up my bed first, cleaning my home, bathing, having brunch, writing my gratitude and reading a book.
Seems pretty nice right?
However, I noticed these autopilot bad habits after I did all that – I keep scrolling my social media, postpone something that I supposed to do like write content, finish the milestone of my dreams, eat candy + chocolate and overthink.
My God, it’s so hard to stop all these.
Not only that, when it comes to the weekend, how many of us don’t do the routine that we do every single day? We tend to be lazy and call it the cheat day. Well, it is the same for me.
And I learn something.
Once you leave your routine a few times, you will crave the feeling of being lazy – this feels so nice which is not good for your mental health. So, I say this to myself, “if you want to rest, you can. Just that don’t leave all your routines. Do which one you can.”
The same goes for you. If you feel exhausted, rest for a while and choose a few routines that you can do within your capacity. Just don’t leave all of them. Okay?
Don’t Judge The Bad Moments
Although I’m starting late and I struggle to wake up early, I don’t want to feel guilt to a certain extent it’s pulling me down deep in the ocean. The only thing I can do is forgive myself and move on. The morning time already passes.
Don’t judge the bad moments as they are not your destinations. Just because bad moments happen, it doesn’t mean that you have a bad day. It is not over yet. You still have time ahead. You have to live.
Also, I ask forgiveness from Allah SWT for my ups and downs in faith. Sometimes, I feel like a strong believer and sometimes I don’t.
I make dua, “Oo Allah, please forgive all my sin. Please, give me your rahmah and barakah in my life. I’m weak. Thus, please helps me, guides me and gives me the strength to continue my life as your servant and khalifah in this world.”
Let’s Wrap Up
The clock is showing at 8.38 pm. And I’m writing this on my bed while listening to Jazz music. Oh, it is azan right now. So, gotta stop playing Jazz music.
Okay, no more azan. Let’s continue.
As reflections, why not focus and magnify the good things we do rather than continue dwelling in the dark feeling? (Advice for myself too).
It can be…
+ Smile to yourself.
+ Close your eyes.
+ Take deep breathing.
+ Listen to Jazz music.
+ Show up for your dream.
+ Eat real and healthy food.
+ Say, “I can do this. I’m resilient.”
+ Believe you are a survivor.
+ Strive to pray 5 times.
Lastly, I hope may Allah SWT bless our lives and watch us as I trust Allah has our back. Amen ya Rabb.